Rear View Mirror

I caught myself thinking this morning and with such an important and rare event under way, I decided I would record my thoughts to see if they made any sense later on. I was pondering the word LOVE and realized that I had only experienced it a few times in my life in its purest form. As a “Recovering Human Being” and one prone to many personality afflictions that I’m working hard to over-come, I thought about how I’ve heard it described that the presence of love was like a light being turned on in the darkness. You’ve heard the expression, “She just lit up the room” when she entered. If we believe that everyone is a vibrating bundle of energy and that a loving individual vibrates at a much higher level, maybe we can understand how we can literally feel someone when they grace us with their presence. As a cranky, judgmental, and sometimes opinionated individual and recovering human I thought long and hard as to when I had felt or been exposed to genuine love in my life.

I can honestly say that on August 6th, 1994 when I was married to my wife in the Aspens atop Kenosha Pass in Colorado I felt honest and genuine, pure love. Why I swear the woman glowed like Glenn Close in the movie Field of Dreams as I looked into her eyes. I’ve never felt so light and free. Another observation of genuine love was my twelve year old yellow Lab that I lost last summer. I was exposed to her tremendous unabashed love every day of her life. I still miss her because I knew that no matter how bad my day was back then, she was there for me and loved me totally. But let me tell you about what happened to me one day in my Rear View Mirror.

This occurred ten years ago and it was during a time in my life when I was more than a little bit full of myself. I was the President of a restaurant franchise and in my late forties. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was in for some tough times ahead because of where I was as a person. I was more than a little opinionated and I could read you a long laundry list of things “I” didn’t care for or like. As a true fitness nut and someone that worked out daily I looked down on people that were obese as if they were lesser human beings. “HOW” could they let themselves get that way, I would wonder? So on that fateful day ten years ago I pulled up to a stop light and a small compact car pulled up behind me.

The lady driving the car was probably 240lbs and her boy, a twelve or thirteen year old sitting next to her was huge also. Right away the mean little mind in my head started. “Look at her! My God does she ever step away from the dinner table? My God, look at that kid of hers, he’s got to be 200 lbs himself.” Well as the mean little mind was saying these things the woman did the most amazing thing. She reached across with her hand and tousled her son’s hair and gazed at him with this amazing look of love. He in turn looked back at his Mom with a loving look that just doesn’t happen with boys that age. They paused for maybe two or three seconds smiling at each other and then looked forward in my direction.

I immediately felt like a rat hiding in the corner basement with a beam of light directed at me. I was so ashamed of myself I wanted to scurry some place, not because they knew what I was thinking, but because I knew in that instant, I was the lesser human being. It was a lesson in humility and one I’ve never forgotten. The beauty of any individual is on the inside, what’s in their soul, not how they look in a pair of designer jeans. I have never forgotten that moment or the way the lady had looked at her son. Now every time I feel a little judgmental I look within myself and remember when genuine love had shown brightly in my rear view mirror. Of course at that moment the light changed and while I was left with my chagrined thoughts I immediately swerved into another car’s lane. “You’re an idiot,” the guy screamed, “Why don’t you learn how to drive!” I guess that’s what they call my “Just Reward,” because in that instant, he was correct.